Category Archives: Humor

MayBelle Encounters Wildlife…Or Goes Around the Bend, Depending on Your Perspective

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MayBelle realizes the chances are slim that she actually saw a beaver dashing into the hedge as she finished her walk in Richmond, Indiana, last night, but that’s what it looked like to her. It was not, she told Precious when he questioned her after she reported the rare sighting, a cat or an opossum or a raccoon. It was bigger and bushier and browner. She’d really like to say it was a platypus but she knows that would give Precious reason to suppose she’d gone around the bend for sure, having been separated from him for so long and all. So instead she simply asks that you not harsh her buzz, and allow her this foray into her imagination. She quite likes it in there, even if she is seeing things.

Because MayBelle couldn’t snap a photo of the rapidly moving, mysterious wildlife in the hedge, she offers you this picture of goldfish in a pond, which she took outside the Warm Glow Candle Company in Centerville, Indiana. At least she thinks they’re goldfish…

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MayBelle Dreams She’s Cooler Than Everyone Else

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Last night MayBelle dreamed that she actually said this: “How can you get any better than me?” Out loud. Besides worrying about the grammar, MayBelle is aghast that she would think such a thing, even in a dream. Isn’t that a riot, that MayBelle feels guilty about something she didn’t even do, nor even think in her rational, waking hours, but something she had no control over?

The dream situation was this: MayBelle was working for someone she knows in real life but who has never been her supervisor. She overheard her employer extolling the virtues of another employee, while slighting MayBelle. MayBelle was incredulous that Clueless Boss Lady considered another person to be a more competent worker than MayBelle. Why, this had never happened to MayBelle before, unless you count that time back in the 1980s when she worked for that jerk, let’s call him “B.S.,” who told her maybe she had chosen the wrong profession. Other than that, it’s been smooth sailing for MayBelle in the employment department.

In the dream, MayBelle started to confront Clueless Boss Lady, but about that time Precious came to wake her up because the workmen were at the house to finish the remodel of the master bathroom and Precious knew that MayBelle needed to get up and put on something other than her leopard print flannel pajamas before the guys came lumbering through the bedroom.

MayBelle has never been one to put much stock in her dreams, but she is surrounded by creative types who seem to get a lot out of interpreting and analyzing their sleeping states.

What would they say about this one, MayBelle wonders. That she really is ultra fabulous, or that she is some sort of egomaniac? Maybe, just maybe, they would say, “MayBelle, this dream obviously means you are willing to stand up for yourself when you think you are being misjudged. This is a good thing, MayBelle, a very good thing indeed.”

Or maybe they would say, “MayBelle, this dream obviously means you haven’t dealt with your rage over that long-ago sexist B.S. who hurt your feelings and later went on to crush several other female employees who called you to commiserate after they were subjected to his cruelty. This is not a good thing, MayBelle.”

Either way, MayBelle figures she’s lucky her dream cut off when it did. Goodness knows she’s got enough guilt already.

Wisdom from the Road: Precious Quotes Bullwinkle

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For some reason she cannot explain, MayBelle feels compelled to let you know that her husband, Precious (shown here with his hands at ten and two), quoted Bullwinkle to her yesterday while he was driving her to the post office. Something about a “Mister Peabody.” MayBelle has no idea who Mister Peabody is, and when she “googles” the name, she is relieved to find out that the Bullwinkle show ran from 1959-1964. Seeing that MayBelle was born in 1961, she can’t be expected to know much about this particular show, now can she? (Precious, having been born in 1954, has a few years on MayBelle. And, although she hates to admit it, a better memory.)

MayBelle is used to Precious spouting off quotes from various sources—she has been married to him for 10 years after all—but usually it’s Shakespeare or Plato. Or some conservative political pundit. Or people she’s never head of. But yesterday it was Bullwinkle. And although MayBelle can’t even remember how Bullwinkle came up a mere 24 hours ago, she does remember that she and Precious laughed themselves silly. And on this clear, cold day in February when MayBelle has a head cold and the workmen are still not finished with the bathroom and the dog, Hiram, seems to have a new skin allergy, that is enough.